I suppose it all started in the Gentlemen's dept. at the New Inn. There stood Buzzer, wearing a worried downcast look. "Its getting frayed at the edges", he said ... I looked over in interest, "Oh, I dunno, - its no worse than mine". "What's no worse than yours?" he asked. "That", I replied, pointing down to where it should have been. "It's older and probably been used more, but I wouldn't say it was frayed at the edges - it's worn away that's all, and they do shrink as you get older". Buzzer stopped what he was doing, and gave me one of his more piercing intellectual looks - like an owl that's just been kicked in the balls. "When I said it's getting frayed at the edges, I meant the 'Pennine'", he said "and I've decided to retire as President".

At the A.G.M., Buzzer turned down all offers of free beer and unlimited supplies of pie and peas as we tried to convince him of the error of his ways; but to no avail, and suddenly at the stroke of 8.25 p.m. on my birthday, I was President-less and another year older..... There was a gnashing of teeth and waving of order papers and general uproar as Buzzer announced his retirement, and our secretary announced that the pie and peas were a pound....

There was nothing for it but to pull out our 'ace in the hole' genial George Cornes, who had been kept in mothballs for just such an occasion as this. We dusted him off and asked him to be our President. "This", we said "is your big moment, - what you have been waiting 36 years for".

"Oi baint want it", said George - "if Buzzer won't 'ave it, oi won't". George than delivered an eloquent 15 minute speech on why we shouldn't make him President and he finished up with these memorable words. "If yer 'ave me, yer proper daft".

It was then suggested that we could have two Presidents - Buzzer and George.

Simon Farrer, the nearest we've got to someone who can read and write - consulted the constitution, muttered something, and then said we can always ignore it, (which we obviously do).

"Hurrah!", shouts everyone, "we can have two Presidents" - but Buzzer and George declined, so Simon Farrer again consulted the constitution, aided this time by Dave Raines, who was standing in for Bill Pybus, who had gone for a pint, who was standing in for G. Batty, who was in Crete, and who was the real Chairman before he had been voted out.

It was suggested that we form an Upper House and make them both Peers of the Pennine, but their Lordships would have none of this.

The ideas came thick and fast, - how about a Monarchy? King Buzzer the First! Couldn't we canonise them? At this, Bob Hryndyjxyz..'s eyes lit up and he said it could be arranged - so this idea was hastily dropped. "What about St. George", someone yelled enthusiastically, and "there could be a St. Buzzer". At this Dave Raines said, "If I had a gavel, I would bang it" and he added darkly, "it would be on your silly head", looking at Tiger, who had not said anything.

The meeting was so impressed by this sally, that we made Dave Raines President......!

In spite of all this flippancy, it is a fact that Buzzer will be sorely missed in his official role of President which he has carried out diligently for 21 years. He has not been a man to accept the Presidency as purely an honorary position, but had made an American style working Presidency the norm in NPC affairs. His has been a practical term of office and he has always been on hand to influence events and shown a full and active interest in club affairs and meetings right from his earlier days when, with the other old codgers, he was part of a hard nucleus of cavers whose exploits are now legend.

Buzzer could always be sure to offer words of wisdom to the young and foolish, and also give the occasional metaphorical kick up the arse when needed, and I am sure that both he and his sidekick George, will still fulfil that function for many years to come.

The following morning after this momentous A.G.M., I chanced to see a figure emerge from the shadowy depths of Green Close. In spite of the pale green face, shifty eyes, swollen nose (is that possible?), and bandaged finger held high in the latest Spike Milligan fashion, it had a regal air.

With a proud lift of his head, which caused a flurry of dandruff to sparkle from his beard, our new President, Dave Aloysius Raines, Esq., lurched to the tandem - I could almost hear the roll of drums.