The evolution of a species generally takes many thousands of years, but within the space of only a few decades, an entirely new breed of caver has appeared in the Dales. Unlike the Speleologist, whose main concerns are the exploration and understanding of cave systems, the new 'Speedyologist' cares for neither, preferring instead the thrills and spills of faster and faster caving trips.

The first recorded sighting of the Speedyologist was by a party visiting Lancaster Hole who reported a fleeting glimpse of cavers wearing spiked running shoes and blinkers. This incident would have been forgotten but for the discovery a week later of a makeshift finishing line and stop watch at the top of the entrance pitch and a rusty starting pistol at Top Sink. Since then the number of sightings has grown rapidly, and it is now commonplace to find Speedyologists in most caving clubs.

The familiar pattern of their activities is easy to recognise. First of all, a caving trip is announced two or three days in advance, then at the last minute all serious suggestions are dropped in favour of one of the 'run of the mill' tourist routes. Since a fast trip is now inevitable, any remaining Speleologists exit stage left with suitable excuses (flat batteries, flat tyres, flatulence, etc.). This leaves a hard core of 'Speedys' to carry on with their record breaking attempt. Prior to the start of the trip everything appears normal, but closer observation reveals furtive eye movements as wrist watches are checked and double-checked. Once underground any similarity to a normal caving trip soon disappears, as the pace of the trip quickens at every bend. The clatter of spiked shoes becomes louder and the smell of scorched racks and burning ropes pervades the subterranean atmosphere. The bottom is reached in record time and the outward race commences at breakneck speed. Formations and draughting chokes are ignored as the team hurtles on. Slower members and drop-outs are left to retrieve the tackle. Back on the surface, stop watches are compared and league tables of caving times are scrutinised closely. Having established one new record, the team of 'Speedys' soon break another with their reckless dash to the pub.

As successive caving trips become faster the Speedyolgists are finding it ever more difficult to create new records. This is especially so with vertical routes where new techniques and equipment have increased the speed of caving considerably. Recent experiments into 'free fall' methods have spawned the idea of a barless rack which is of great interest to 'Speedys', with some very fast descents being reported. This device can also be used back to front as a conventional (slow mode) abseiling device for Speleologists.

Horizontal caving has seen less in the way of new techniques, but the long-awaited wet suit wax for tight systems will soon be in the shops. Also the recent popularity of the Kingsdale Master Cave in wet weather is probably a reflection of the increasing use of white-water canoeing for extra fast flood-pulse trips.

It is hard to predict what will become of the 'Speedys'. Having evolved at a record pace, futher change in physical make-up is bound to be rapid. Already possessing a smaller brain than normal (interbreeding?) the species has reduced its mental capacity even further by spending less time underground per trip and more time in the pub with the inevitable alcoholic demolition of brain cells. ombining this with the intensive physical and personal pressures of competitive sport has resulted in an increasing army of redundant speedyologists. Burnt out specimens can be found lurking in most pubs and caving hostels, or sat at home with their battery chargers plugged into train sets. - It is a sad sight. If the sporting eye of the general public falls upon Speedyology who can say what will follow? Perhaps we will witness televised races from Kingsdale ..... "and now for the result of the 3.35 at Simpsons, over to Frank Snott at the studio" ..... "and the last pitch is coming up now, with twenty metres to go, it's the favourite 'Northern Git' closely followed by 'Suicide' with the 30 - 1 outsider 'Southern Sphincter' closing up quickly" ..... "and at the finishing line it's 'Northern Git' by half a Jumar from 'Southern Sphincter' and we've just heard that 'Suicide' has fallen at the last pitch".

A. Hale